Blogging With Brooke (he he)

Well, so..... my first blog. I only found out what Blog actually means a couple of days ago! I know, I know, I'm so early turn of the century! :) There are a few reasons that I haven't started this before and a few better ones why I'm starting it now (maybe I'm crazy!). Well, this is like commitment for me! If I start this blog and then don't keep it up, I'm a failing loser!!! ;) And I'm aweful at commitment! I run from it every chance I get! Yes one of my great weaknesses! And I didn't really see the value in it. So I left it aside for other better people. So now, I'm feeling differently (it must be all the post pregnancy hormones). I was thinking the other day and slightly saddened that I felt that I kind of just drift in and out of peoples lives not terribly missed. I wondered why...... and what....... and how.......... and I thought on it for a while because I don't like the thought of that. I feel I've been so many places and met so many people over the past 10 years, but to my regret have lost connection with many of them. After thinking it over I came to the realization of what a personal person I am. (once again afraid of failure or rejection) I don't really share my self with others very easily. -This is funny- but in order to let someone in they have to pass a series of evaluations on my part (I'm way better than I used to be). So thus the title of my blog. If you want someone to hold on to you, maybe you should cast a line for them to hold on to. It's hard to love the plain shell when you can't see the value or beauty inside. So here is me. Putting my self "on the line" a display for people to judge or think what they may, but hey! When I write, I can't hear my readers judgement, so at least this is safer ;). Well..... there's my introduction. And here's my disclaimer :) I will not feel guilty if I miss blogging for a few days or even weeks ( I might after months). I am doing this with the saying in mind, it is better to have tried and failed, than to never have tried at all! That is a very good saying! Well for now, I'm still trying to figure all my pages and options out so... pictures will come shortly (I hope).


On another note... I am a new mother all over again for the 4th time. Yes I must be crazy, but I don't think this is the last. This pregnancy was pretty hard and towards the end I was telling Brett that I really am not so sure I can do this again, and maybe this will be our last (because I've always had an inkling that there are 5) but one night for a brief moment (it's kind of gone now :) as I held her I thought "No. This can't be our last angel!" I can't imagine this being the last baby of mine that I hold. Call me crazy because I sure do, but somehow the Lord gives you strength to accomplish, and sometimes, even desire the tasks and responsibilities that he has for you to take care of and accomplish. It's so interesting that something so stressful and painstaking and worrisome can bring the greatest joy, love and blessings in my life! Now if I can just remeber that as I begin on a whole nother road on "mother of 4". Having no idea of what lies ahead of me.