Somniphobia!

Hmmmmm........... I think I have a problem. So at night, when everyone goes to bed with out me.......this isn't every night, or even most nights, but when it does happen, I finish what I'm doing and then............ Well..... shouldn't I just go to bed? Shouldn't I be happy to welcome the joy of falling into that wonderfully soft rectangle I sleep on every night with those ever so cozy covers? Isn't that what I've been looking forward to every moment of the day that I find myself falling asleep, reading a story to my son before his nap and even, yes, I have fallen asleep singing him a song, reading my scriptures, etc! .......... SAD!!! So shouldn't this be the answer??? That would be logical I would think. But no! That's not what happens at all! For some bizarre reason, I have yet to figure out, tired Brookey is overwhelmed by this unseen force that keeps her from getting up the stairs to finally go to bed after a long day of kids and house and chauffeur and messes and more! I just can't seem to make it through this invisible force field that keeps me from being sensible but instead helps me to be extremely irresponsible, and robs me of the opportunities of the new day! Tired and lagging the next day.
Yes, here it is 2 in the morning. Everyone asleep, smart sleeping people! Dumb awake person. 9AM church in the morning, 4 kids and self to get ready and fed and out the door before 9AM! You would think there was something wrong with me! just wasting these few precious hours of complete unconcious rest! I DO think there's something wrong with me!!! What's wrong with me?? Why can't I just go to bed? There is nothing of necessity keeping me up! So WEIRD! So here I sit, blogging, even though I'm tired and i wish I could go to bed, but alas, here I stay. Does anyone know of an anti sleepers anonymous? Who Needs Sleep?